Moving from Parenting to Co-Parenting Five Tips for Success

As you separate and move into two separate homes, your relationship will move

from parenting your children together in one household to co-parenting your

children across two homes. This is a significant transition for everyone in the family.

Co-parenting is not about being perfect. It is about continuing to show your children

that the two most important adults in their lives are committed to their well-being.

Here are some things that are important to remember as you move into this new

role.

1. Remember that this is new to both of you.

New things take time to learn. New things can be hard to master. You will both make

mistakes. Try to learn from them and do better the next time. Give each other—and

yourselves—some patience as you figure out what works.

2. Keep your focus on the children.

When decisions feel difficult, ask yourself: What will help our children feel most

secure and supported right now? Let that guide your choices.

3. Communicate clearly, calmly and respectfully.

Co-parenting effectively requires healthy communication. Keep your messages brief,

respectful, and focused on the children. When conversations become tense, it may

be helpful to pause and return to the issue later.

4. Support your children’s relationship with the other parent.

Children benefit from feeling free to love both of their parents. Encourage contact,

always speak respectfully about

the other parent in front of the children. “You get to

love both of us, just like we get to love you!”

5. Think long-term.

You will likely be connected as co-parents for many years—through school events,

graduations, milestones, and possibly weddings or grandchildren. The effort you put

into building a healthy co-parenting relationship now can make those years much

easier for everyone, especially your children.